7 reasons why you don’t ask for help.

Do you ask for help when you need it ?

Often what we want or need is at our fingertips but we forget to do the most basic, simple thing to get it: Ask.  Instead, we work really hard to get it on our own, give up before we even try, or worst of all, feel resentful and frustrated because the person we want help from doesn’t magically know we need it.

Recently I have been working on being more conscientious of asking when I want something.  As obvious as the results are, they surprise me over and over again.

I simply ask my son nicely to change the garbage or my husband to empty the dishwasher, and guess what?  THEY DO IT! I don’t have to spend hours or days frustrated that no one has noticed it needs to be done except me, nor do I feel sorry for myself that I’m ‘always the one’ that has to do it.  I just ask.

I know this is a simple example.  Often what we really want or need help with is more complex, but a good place to start is with the basics. Once you get the hang of that, the more sensitive issues become easier to ask for as well… but first,

Let’s talk ‘ASKING.’  What’s holding you back?

EXPECTATION?  Are you living in an energy that you expect people to simply know that you need help? When they don’t spontaneously offer, is your instinct to do it yourself or even worse, feel resentful without really knowing what you’re resentful about?

YOU GOTTA WORK FOR IT?  Do you resonate in a world that if you haven’t worked hard for it, it doesn’t have the same value?  If you need to ask for help, do you think it means you don’t deserve to have it?

PRIDE?  Aaaahhhh yes, I am sure at some point we have all felt this…asking for help might make us feel weak, not capable, not enough, and a lot of the less-than-fun feelings, so we avoid it…  I get it.  But I would like to remind you… YOU ARE PERFECT exactly as you are!

IT DOESN’T EVEN CROSS YOUR MIND?  My favorite.  Do you get so caught up in the ‘doing’ that you completely forget that you’re not alone in this world and that help might be readily available if you just stop and take the time to look around you?

YOU’RE ASKING IN YOUR MIND?  Maybe you think you’re asking for help, but you’re not actually saying it out loud in a way that others are clear that’s what you’re doing.  This happens more often than you might suspect.

YOU’RE NOT GOOD AT RECEIVING?  Offering help is your specialty, but when it comes to asking you feel uncomfortable and awkward?

YOU DON’T ACCEPT HELP WHEN IT IS OFFERED?  Is help sometimes staring you in the face but you don’t accept it?  Maybe you don’t want to feel in debt, you aren’t sure if the offer is sincere or you’re just not sure how to say yes.  Get over it!  Say thank you and accept, accept accept!

There are certainly other reasons why you might not be asking for what you want or accepting help, but more important than the ‘why’ is how you can turn it around and get yourself into an ‘asking and receiving’ vibration.

Start by sending out your request to the unknown.  Call it the Universe, your Angels, the Law of Attraction or whatever source you’re comfortable with… and if you don’t believe in a central source, then just ask it in your mind.   I generally use the word Angels, but that is just me.

In my mind, I simply say ‘Angels, please help me __________’.  And I have to say, help generally appears in some form or another.  Sometimes it’s in the form of my own peace of mind, at others it’s a symbolic event that occurs, and sometimes the exact help I need appears from the most unlikely of places.

Regardless of your beliefs or the way the results appear, getting in a daily habit of asking ‘the ether’ for help will open you up to receiving.  Once you make a habit of asking in your mind, you’ll also find yourself more easily asking out loud.

I’d like to encourage you all to think about your energy around asking for what you want in life. Take some time to formulate in words what you want, and ask the question, even if it is only in your mind.  This is a fantastic exercise as it helps you become conscious of what you really want and/or what’s really bothering you.  At the same time, you practice asking something outside of yourself to assist you.  And lastly, you send a message to the Universe that you are open to receiving.

I firmly believe that the road to your increased happiness lies is a path you walk within.  That each and every one of us has the tools to make our lives better… the kicker is, more often than not they’re simple things that we just need to remember to do, asking is one of them.

Infinite resources are available to you to make your life better, happier, and elevated but if you don’t ask, the Universe simply cannot provide!


  Do you want more practical insights from Tanya?  Sign up to receive my blog in your inbox and occasional Notes & Ponderings, or visit my Facebook page Tanya Arler’s Page

 

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