4 Steps to Happier Living – stop, love, dream, create

Is life not quite the way you want it to be?

Did you get your ‘dream job’ that wasn’t dreamy, or are you so busy you don’t have time to stop and enjoy life?  Or even… is life ‘pretty good’ but something seems to be missing?

Yeah, I hear ya!

People often come to me saying they feel stuck, or they just have this feeling in their bones that there’s something more out there for them.  They come to me for answers, the magic key or direction.

I don’t have a clear-cut answer or magic wand that will fix it, but I can offer direction.  If you want things to be different in your life, try these steps.

Step 1: STOP – Pause, step back, and take a break.

The thing about feeling stuck or not being where you want to be, is that you get yourself in a never-ending thought pattern that seems impossible to turn around. 

This thought pattern creates anxiety, stress, brings up fears and more than anything, stops you from seeing the possibilities that are available to you.  Why?  Because you’re not steering life but rather allowing yourself to continue down the path you’re on.

 At that point, it’s hard to just move in a new direction because momentum is leading you down a slippery slope.

What you can do is pause.  Stop.  Stand still for a moment and chill out. 

Gathering the energy to take a sudden left turn is near impossible.  Momentum is going in a direct path so turning it around requires an awful lot of force.  However, if you slow down to manoeuvre the turn, the load is lightened and possibilities open up.

Step back and take yourself out of the chaos in your mind.

Step 2: LOVE – Love yourself, feel gratitude, remember that life loves you

Yes, the L word. 

Before you can create any change in your life, you need confidence in yourself and belief that you have the power to change, both of which are probably lacking right now.  What a conundrum.

So how can you get those things?  LOVE! 

Look for gratitude, remember that life loves you and look within to remember what you love about yourself.  Sometimes this might mean looking back to an earlier version of yourself.  Do you remember the enthusiasm you once had, do you remember the qualities in you that made you light up?  They are all still there so bring them back!

An excellent exercise is to close your eyes and think backwards over the past 12 months.  Start right here and now, and slowly go back over time… use seasons, special days and holidays to prompt your memory.  When you get to a year earlier, draw the comparison between then and now.  You’ll be surprised at how far you’ve come, how strong you are, and the amount of change that has happened.

By being conscious of the things you’re grateful for, looking at what you love about yourself, and remembering that your life is continually changing, you’ll give yourself an injection of positive energy that will increase your self-image and sense of worth. 

It’s these qualities that fuel positive change. 

Step 3: DREAM – Let your imagination run wild and be enthusiastic!

Allow yourself to dream and ask yourself how you want to feel!

Our imagination is one of our most powerful tools for change.  By dreaming and allowing your ideas to expand past your current reality, you create possibilities.  Dreaming allows you to see where you really want to be and starts creating paths to get you there.

And for goodness sakes, BE EXCITED! 

How would you rather live your life?  Excited about your thoughts and life here and now, or constantly restrained, holding back your emotions for fear of disappointment?

Nobody likes disappointment, of course not.  But that’s no reason to limit your life, and certainly no good reason to suppress your dreams? 

Disappointment passes, living your life halfway doesn’t.

My daddy used to tell me (seriously):

‘The happiness you achieve in life is only equal to the risk your willing to take’.

If you’re not willing to risk disappointment, you won’t be able to feel the highs that raise your quality of life.

So go for it!  Dream, and FEEL GOOD when you’re dreaming! 

Step 4: CREATE – Do stuff, take action, start making changes in your everyday life.

We tend to believe that the steps needed to create change need to be as big as the change we want to create.


Action and change are not proportional. 

One small change can change everything so, if you’re not ready to run, crawl.  Don’t try to tackle the mountain all at once.  If you’re feeling stuck, a single small step can make a world of difference.  At the very least you’ll see that you CAN do something different. 

Success is achieved by using what’s at hand to get you closer to where you want to be.

This means that you don’t have to leap to the destination, and the next step doesn’t have to be perfect.  If perfect isn’t available, start with almost perfect… and if almost perfect isn’t available, start with ‘better than nothing.’

Our lives are continual systems of chain reactions.  By taking a step in the right direction, you’ll come across new experiences.  Opportunities you otherwise wouldn’t have seen, people you wouldn’t have met, and circumstances that otherwise might never exist.

So, do something different today…

no matter how small that might be.  Walk home using a different route, get your coffee at a different coffee shop, or reach out to someone who might be able to help. The point is: 

 If nothing changes, nothing will change.  Stop to breathe, value your worth and love who you are, allow yourself to dream, and finally… take a step.

Change can come easier than you might imagine.

… and the Universe will provide.

– Tanya Arler – Lovin’ Life!

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